The Boy With The Thorn In His Side
by Unread-Letters
Summary: Darcy gets an assignment from SHIELD...to take Loki shopping. Coincides with my other story, The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot but also works as a stand alone. Rated T for language and alcohol consumption.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot, that's all mine. Everything else belongs to Marvel. "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side"****is a The Smiths song from the album The Queen Is Dead**_**.**_

**Author's Note: This story takes place around the beginning of my other story, The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot. The events depicted here are mentioned briefly in the other story ad it does expand on Darcy's job assignment a bit more but I don't think it's necessary to read it first. But it'd be awesome if you read it anyway. This is unbeta'ed and any questions, concerns, and criticisms are always welcome. Thanks for reading! **

**The Boy With The Thorn In His Side**

**By: UnreadLetters**

"_The boy with the throne in his side…Behind the hatred there lies a murderous desire for love." _

_-The Smiths_

Darcy really has no idea what she was thinking when she accepted the "new position" Fury and Thor had presented to her. If she remembers correctly she actually thought teaching Loki how to be "normal" wouldn't be so bad and she really remembers saying yes because of Thor's slight guilt trip. But really…what the fuck was she thinking?

The first week is fairly simple. They start with social mannerisms and being polite and how to address people in public. She can deal with the sneering and menace because, if she were being honest, she thinks it's funny. It's a sad kind of funny like a really dark comedy or when people laugh out of awkwardness but she clings to the humorous aspect just to get through the days with him. Sure, when Loki was an all-powerful god of Asgard even the idea of him had scared the shit out of her but the Loki Darcy knows now is a shell of that. He's powerless and in order to survive, internally survive, Darcy laughs and rolls her eyes and gives him the benefit of the doubt because he can be almost childlike sometimes and every once in a while she feels a flicker of pity for him. She knows what being the younger child feels like and she knows how to compete for parents' love and maybe it's because he is powerless but she swears she can see remorse and shame in his eyes sometimes in between the wisecracks and intimidations and scorn.

Loki spends most of the first week trying to get Darcy to tremble at the sight of him. It happens a few times but she's more willful then he anticipates. He knows that she sees him as a weakling and because of that he tries harder. He threatens and snarls and does everything short of physically harming which the more she ignores him the more he considers. By the end of the second week he is fed up with her patience and her empathy. When she chuckles at him and rolls her eyes he has to ball his hands into fists just so he doesn't strangle her. The nicer she is to him, the crosser he becomes. He loathes kindhearted, understanding people with every fiber of his being. Only one person has ever truly shown him kindness and that is the woman who raised him. No woman, especially a mortal, deserves the kind of respect that he reserves for Frigga alone despite everything she and Odin did.

At the beginning of their second week of working together, Fury calls Darcy into his office first thing in the morning. He rises from the desk when she enters and hands her a wad of cash.

Darcy eyes it intensely but doesn't take it, "Uhhh…what's that for?"

Fury sighs and shakes his head, "Loki needs civilian clothes."

Darcy wills herself not to snort, "And?"

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation. You need to take him shopping." He pushes the money at her again. "This should be enough but if you need more ask Mr. Stark."

Darcy takes the money and tries not to marvel so much at the weight in her hand. "Where should I go?"

"Do I look like GQ to you?" Darcy bites back a sarcastic quip, nods a thanks and heads out of the office wondering if Tony has a couple back issues somewhere.

Taking Loki shopping turns out to be the hardest task Darcy has ever done in her life. Due to a lack of creativity, she takes him to the Gap first. He scoffs at all the fabric, growls at the girl who tries to help them and refuses to try on anything. She then takes him to where he literally hisses at a pair of pants Darcy shows him, throws a sweater on the floor, threatens the man behind the counter and complains loudly that all he wants is a well-tailored suit. Darcy leaves the store in a huff and waits outside for his tirade to end.

Loki is a little astonished when he finds her sitting outside of the store. He really thought he had won with his little display. He knows for a fact that he has gotten under her skin, though, as she bites her lip and refuses to speak to him on the ride back to Stark Tower. He can't help the victorious smirk that slides to his lips when he gets out of the car. His victory doesn't last long, however, because before he closes the door Darcy calls his name.

"Yes?" He gives her a smug look as he dips his head back into the car.

"Thanks for being the jackass we all know and love today. Really appreciate it. See you tomorrow." And before he even has a chance to reply Darcy has motioned for the driver to start pulling away. Loki slams the door so hard the hinges almost buckle and curses the infuriating girl until well into the night.

That same night, Darcy lies in bed and hopes that some tragic accident will befall the former god because she just can't take it anymore. Loki knows her patience with him is already waning and soon her tempestuousness will rise from wherever she is hiding it and he will win. Neither is sure why they are waging a war but both are ready for the fight.

On Friday, Darcy wakes up hopeful, all her dreams of Loki's tragic end buried somewhere deep as she reminds herself that she has a job to do, dammit, and she is not letting him have the last word. She dresses quickly, picks up two coffees on her march to Stark Tower and upon arrival loudly kicks at Loki's door.

He doesn't open it but she can hear him through it, "Who is it and what do you want?"

"Get your shit together. We're going to shopping. You want a suit; we'll get you a suit. It won't be bespoke or anything but we have enough money for Burberry."

The door swings open and Darcy has to crane her neck to look up at him. She shoves a coffee into his hand and pulls a tape measure from her pocket.

"I have to take your measurements before we go."

He glares at her, "I don't like to be touched."

She shakes her head and pushes passed him into his room. "Duh. But if I don't do it the person at Burberry will have to and after the way you acted towards the girl at the Gap and the guy at you're lucky I'm even trying this." She pulls the chair away from his desk and climbs atop it. At this level she stands a few inches taller than him. "Come here and lose the trench coat thing. I'll try avoid any direct Darcy/Loki contact."

Loki eyes Darcy skeptically from the doorway before slowly walking over and standing in front of her. He slips the leather from his shoulders and places it gingerly on the desk next to where he has placed his coffee. Darcy motions for him to turn around so that his back is to her. She runs the tape measure across his shoulders and notices that he winces slightly when her fingers brush against his neck. She pulls a pencil and a piece of paper out of her back pocket and scribbles her findings. She repeats this step several times until all areas are covered. She wants to pat herself on the back for not exploding at him every time he laments and grumbles but Darcy does let out a little chuckle when she has to measure his inseam and he just stands above her drinking coffee like this is a normal day for him.

Loki has to admit that she does have audacity. Any other person he knows would have given up by now but Darcy just keeps coming back for another round. She's almost worse than Thor. He finds her gumption fascinating and is a tad bit curious about this Burberry she prattles on about while she records his measurements. He stands stock still and forces his breathing to regulate. He detests being this close to others. It makes him feel like a child again, for some reason, and he only associates childhood with vulnerability. He busies his hands with the coffee she brought him and drinks it against his better judgment.

They take a cab for the first time to Burberry as part of Loki's "normal lessons". Darcy watches him out of the corner of her eye as he shuffles around in the backseat. He's almost too big for it and his legs are almost touching hers. She tucks hers up under herself in an attempt to accommodate him but he stays where he is. Outside of Burberry she makes him give the cabbie money and gives him a pep talk about being on his best behavior. When they go inside, Darcy notes but isn't surprised by the strange looks they get but she taps the first sales person she sees on the shoulder. Darcy explains to the woman that she's taking her brother shopping. She hands over the list of his measurements and explains that he's a little peculiar and doesn't take kindly to strangers or being touched. The woman eyes Loki but makes no comment to Darcy.

Loki has on his stubborn face but Darcy does not see the usual note of disgust and judgment in his eyes. In fact, she would say, he looks almost interested at the clothing before him. The saleswoman and Darcy pick out of a few suits in black and dark gray and a couple trench coats. Loki scoffs at most of them but agrees to try on one suit and one coat. Darcy waits for him on a bench outside of the dressing rooms and lets out a laugh when she hears a thud and a slew of curse words come from the room he's in. Apparently, he has a hard time dressing himself without magic. After a few minutes he finally emerges and Darcy has to catch her breath when he comes out. The suit is pristine except for the tie that hangs loosely around his neck and the addition of the trench coat makes him look like a proper (and handsome, maybe) English gentleman.

Darcy stands and walks over to where he's assessing himself in the mirror. She reaches up to tie his tie but he swats her hand away.

"I don't need your help." Darcy notes the venom in his voice and reminds herself to tread lightly.

"You look great, Loki." she offers him a small smile.

"Ha." Darcy bites her tongue and tries to ignore his change in attitude, "I've fallen so low."

"Please, don't start." He stares at her through the mirror, she holds his stare.

"Right, of course. I wouldn't want to embarrass you." He spits the words at her before stomping back into the dressing room and slamming the door. Darcy's stomps match his own as she parades back into the main part of the store and mentally talks herself into calming down.

Loki really doesn't know where the anger comes from but he knows it has something to do with Darcy offering to tie his tie. Such a small gesture should be ignored but it triggers something in the back of his mind and it instantly blinds him with rage. Before he changes back into his Asgardian dress he stands in that stifling dressing room for a few minutes and attempts to use the calming exercises that that idiot Dr. Banner is forcing him to learn.

Darcy watches him come out of the small corridor before breezing passed the saleswoman and heading straight for her.

"I thought you would have left." He quirks a patronizing eyebrow at her.

"I've learned how to deal with your temper tantrums, Loki. I have accepted that you have a perpetual thorn in your side. Besides, I wanted to look around." She refuses to look at him and instead focuses on a dress hanging in front of her. She can feel the fury starting to radiate off of him.

"I want to leave." His voice is low and foreboding.

"Go ahead." She waves a hand at the door. "I won't stop you."

"You know where I go you must follow." He is inches from her face and practically whispering in her ear.

"And why is that?" She picks up a perfume bottle and sprays it on her wrist. "Hmmm?" She puts the bottle back and turns to face him. "Is it because you'd be lost? Or you wouldn't have any money? Maybe you need me?" There's an intentional bite to every word she says and she watches as his eyes turn darker.

"Despite what you may think, I do not require anything from you. You have been assigned to me and it is merely an inconvenience that we are forced to be together!" His voice has gone from a whisper to a borderline roar.

"Yeah, you do need me maybe more than you need anyone right now. I'm the only one, besides Thor, who bothers to be around you. Better get used to it." Darcy turns away and walks towards a display of shoes. She picks one up and checks the bottom for the price.

Loki is by her side in a swift stride and grabs her arm roughly. "I do not need anyone. I am stuck here in this wretched place because of my idiotic brother. You are just a speck in the universe to me. Just a speck on some vermin that will never ever matter to me."

"I don't care what I am to you. I am here because I am paid to be here." Darcy doesn't realize it but she's started shouting, "I have been nothing but nice to you. I put up with all your petulant crap and all your insults and snide remarks. I am trying to help you! You're the biggest jackass I have ever met!" Darcy doesn't want him to see the anger and hurt in her eyes so she turns on her heel and starts for the door.

"And you are the poorest excuse for a woman I have ever met! You're just a sniveling child, weak and obnoxious, waiting for your prince to come along. No one will ever come for someone like you. "

"Go fuck yourself!" Is all Darcy can come up with as she grabs the nearest object, which happens to be a black high heel, and flings it with all her might at his head. She could have actually hit him if it wasn't for his insane reflexes. This just makes Darcy angrier as she marches back over to him ready for a battle. She can see he is too because he's standing at his full height and breathing raggedly. But a fight never comes because the saleswoman is close on her trail followed by two burly security guards. Darcy, angry and embarrassed, attempts to apologize but that does not stop the two security guards from physically dragging her and Loki from the store and chucking them through the doors. Well, she gets dragged and chucked. Loki, oddly enough, walks with them calmly and remains standing as Darcy lands on the sidewalk.

Darcy picks herself up and brushes herself off before marching over to him, balling up her fist and punching him with as much force as she can muster. He stands stock still and that just makes her more livid.

"You are such a son of a bitch!" She pulls back her arm to punch him again but this time Loki grabs her wrist and twists.

"Never, ever insult my mother." His voice is low and ominous and it is the first time since they started working together that Darcy is truly frightened of him. Her eyes meet his as they nod at each other slowly in understanding. He releases her wrist with a snap and she rubs it quickly before scanning the area. She notices a bar on the corner crosswise from them and chances a glance at him. He isn't in his fighting stance anymore so she grabs his bicep lightly and drags him across the street.

"I need a drink. Come on." She's a little surprised when he puts up no argument and follows through the ancient wooden doors.

The bar is dark and dingy and filled with a few patrons. Darcy recognizes the faint song playing as one her grandfather used to love. She takes a seat at the bar and watches as Loki sluggishly mimics her actions.

The bartender gives Darcy a warm smile but gazes at Loki suspiciously as he places two napkins in front of them. "What can I get you?"

"We'll have two tequila shots, doubles. Don't worry about the limes and salt. And I'll have a Bud Light and whatever he wants. Thanks."

The bartender nods before turning his gaze back to Loki, "And for you?"

Loki looks up at him wearily, "Scotch. Macallan will do, I suppose. Neat." He's exhausted from the day and can't muster the energy to be argumentative.

"You want some ice for that cheek?" The bartender nods over to Loki while he pours their shots.

"No. Merely a scratch." Loki's voice is raspy and he clears his throat as he shakes his head.

Darcy tries to look at him but his face is turned away from her so she reaches up and tugs on his chin. He grabs her wrist but doesn't tighten his grip and lets her turn his face towards her. Darcy has to admit she's a little satisfied to see a bruise forming under his left eye but doesn't comment on it. She releases his face as the bartender brings over their drinks. Loki picks up the tequila and sniffs it suspiciously.

"It's not supposed to smell good." Darcy says before tipping her head back and drinking hers in one gulp. "Just drink it." She brings the small glass back down with a tap as Loki copies her previous action. Darcy gives the bartender a thankful nod and takes a sip of her beer. After a couple of minutes she can feel the tension leaving her shoulders. She chances a quick look at Loki through the mirror above the bar but looks away even quicker when they make eye contact.

Neither says a word until Darcy orders another beer. She takes a couple sips and then turns slightly in her chair to look at him. He motions for the bartender to bring him another drink but keeps his eyes focused ahead.

"I'm sorry." Darcy says quietly.

"Whatever for?" Loki asks dryly.

"For everything. For insulting your mother, for punching you, for forcing you to buy new clothes. I'm sorry. I should have realized that you didn't want to do it and just left you alone. Who cares if you look like a reject from the Renaissance fair? I said some awful things and I'm sorry."

Loki takes a pull from his glass and finally turns his head to look down at her. "You were doing your job, what was expected of you and that punch was not in vain. It was deserved. What I said and my behavior were out of turn." He looks as if he's about to choke but he forces the words out of his lips, "I apologize."

Darcy sighs as if she has been holding her breath. "We're even then." She lets out an awkward laugh. "We're very moody people. But, I mean I'm a bitch and you have those psychopathic tendencies so at least we get good excuses. " She's a little relieved when he chuckles lightly.

"That's one way of putting it but, by the looks of it, you're a mad one yourself, Darcy Lewis."

Darcy smiles and shrugs her shoulders. "It happens from time to time." She takes a sip of her drink and elbows him lightly. "It's a shame, you know. You really did look nice in those clothes."

"Did I?" Loki never genuinely smiles but Darcy notices the corner of his mouth twitches.

"Yep." She takes a swig of her beer and smiles at him in the mirror.

"Hmmm." Is his only response as he raises his glass to his lips.

"You know… I could probably talk to Pepper and see if she can sort it out."

Loki sighs but there's not malice in it. "If you must."

They sit in silence and finish their drinks. Darcy hums along to the song on the radio and fiddles with her phone while Loki rolls his glass in his fingertips. Darcy pays the tab and makes Loki hail the cab. Neither speaks on the way home but Loki gives Darcy the faintest of smiles when she leaves him at Stark Tower.

Loki doesn't know what to make of this Darcy Lewis girl. At first he found her absolutely vexing and he still does in fact but there's something else there now. Darcy is just a mortal girl with no super ability or skill but she argued and fought with him as well as those damn Avengers. Then she apologized to him. He had never been genuinely apologized to before. Loki finds that he feels respect for her and that is not something he doles out lightly. Maybe, he thinks, she isn't so bad after all.

The next time Darcy and Loki meet she is more than surprised to see him in a hunter green button down and black trousers but she smiles widely when she does.

"I see you got my packages." She nods towards his new wardrobe.

"Yes," he says wearily. "I have decided that it would be in my best interest to draw as little attention to myself as possible."

"So you like the clothes, then?"

"I did not say that." But his lips play at that hidden smile. "I thought you were banned from that wretched place for life."

Darcy shrugs her shoulders. "I am but they have an online store and Pepper let me use Tony's credit card. But don't think getting banned from places always works out in the end. I would like to keep my list of banning's to two, thanks."

"Two?" Loki asks with blatant curiosity.

"I'm not allowed in a bar in New Mexico. It's a long story from the college days." She lets out a laugh.

"And we have all day, unfortunately." Darcy can't help but notice that the disdain in his voice is a little forced and there's a mischievous glint that appears in his eyes.

Maybe, she thinks to herself, he isn't so bad after all. Maybe he just needed to be put in his place.


End file.
